Losing You
by Ribbonseal
Summary: The Earl is Dead, but so is Allen. Kanda mourns. Dark Yullen Fanfic or something lyk that ONESHOT first fanfic SUMMARIES ARE MEAN
1. Losing You

_This is my first fanfiction...please don't be TOO harsh...._

**Losing You**

Kanda stood prone underneath the rain. It pounded against him in undulating strokes. It chilled his bones and made his long black hair stick to his face and back, a discomfort that was nothing to the pain he

He, Yuu Kanda was crying. He stood with his eyes closed, tears falling freely. His body was stiff and unmoving, hands in fists.

He could not, would not, accept that his Moyashi was dead. Allen was an immortal entity. Why, fuck, he lived after he got a hole in his heart! He can't die!

In a movement so swift that it was almost nonexistent he slammed the hard ground with his fist. Blood poured from the knuckles that were healed with a rapidness that only made him hiss in annoyance. What was the point of healing at a miraculous rate if your only love was gone and dead?

Allen Walker was the light in this hopeless war. He, and only he, was able to soften him, Kanda, the frigid unfeeling man who acted on an hourly basis like a bastard. Yes, he admitted to acting like a bastard, but what was the point of forming close bonds with people when, in the end, they all died? This was the result.

He snarled and howled in anger. "MOYASHI! ALLEN!" Tears dropped from his face as his face distorted in a mixture of sadness, denial, and anger. But most of all, sadness. Slowly, ever so slowly, it began to seep into his bones, the knowledge that his whole body denied against. Allen Walker was dead. His mind already disappearing from being corroded by the Fourteenth but it was a blow from the dying Earl that truly, finally killed him.

Kanda stood up and ran, ran away from the images in his mind, of a prone white haired boy lying in a pool of crimson blood and he, Yuu Kanda, trying to save him after flinging away all, and every mask he had ever put up, and the people celebrating the end of a long long war. He could hear the laughter, the happiness that seemed to insult the very memory of a cursed boy who smiled for all.

When he reached the forest, all noise of celebration, of joy had disappeared behind him and all he could hear was the pattering of raindrops, and his heavy breathing. A small, twisted grin grew on his angular handsome face marked by heavy suffering. At least here he may mourn for his Moyashi.

He walked through the dripping leaves, concentrating on nothing but the sounds of water. The rain created a symphony in which he could lose himself in. Every time he lost his concentration a memory of bickering with a certain exorcist, or that certain exorcist inhaling his way through mountains of food passed through his mind, causing the torrent of tears to increase.

He reached his target much to fast. The river that rushed beneath him seemed wholly inviting. He imagined throwing his sword into the gushing river, watching it flow downstream…throwing himself after it…perhaps he may meet Allen once more.

Like a boomerang he flew back into his fragile rationality. A small part of his mind that seemed to be able to withstand the grief said to him, _he would not want you to waste your life like._

"Ha! Like he can say anything now! Besides, my life was already disappearing when you came into it!" Kanda spoke in sad, flat voice that retained only a little of its old harsh bite. "Yes…you can't say anything, you worthless selfless bean sprout with a hero complex." His voice began to break. "Yes…you truly can't yell to me any more. You…can't talk to me any more. You…can't smile any…any more. You can't look at me with those silver eyes…I…I loved."

With those last words, something broke inside the once stoic swordsman. Kanda, regardless of the amount of tears shed before, broke down into something that would shock any who knew him. With each sob came a sharp bright memory of Allen, Allen Walker the boy who was prophesied as the Destroyer of Time, who killed the Millennium Earl. What Yuu Kanda remembered was a white haired boy whose unusual scar down his left eye could barely mar the brightness and happiness the boy carried within him, along with his strength to continue walking forward no matter what occurred.

"_**Yuu, don't stop walking forward, never. Don't cry any more. One day we'll see each other again."**_

The black haired man raised his head. He did not think of who said it, he simply thought of the words. Somehow it felt like thinking of it that way would keep the words sharper and truer in his mind.

The words gave him strength and he wiped his tears with his ripped sleeve. His coat was still torn and bloodied from the last battle. As he did it, a strange conviction went through him. He would not go back to the castle that held so many happy memories and sad memories.

With a last look to the direction of the unseen castle, he adjusted his sword and turned away. He walked slowly in the opposite direction gaining the confidence he had before step by step. Soon he was all but gone in the forest. Then, it seemed as if a man named Yuu Kanda had never stood there as his footprints were washed away by the rain.

Yuu had just one small regret though. He never told Allen he loved him.

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In the castle, came a white clad man who declared to the celebrating crowd the death of a certain Allen Walker. The announcement caused a sudden change in atmosphere. There was sobbing sound heard; it echoed through the now silent room.

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In the corridors off the hall, a certain red head named Lavi and a Chinese girl with pigtails named Lenalee searched the building for a long haired swordsmen.

* * *

_A hundred years later.... _

_In the 21__st__ Century, London_

Kanda tch'ed as he looked at his watch. He needed to get to his college now. That bus better get here in five minutes NOW or else. He really needed to pound that Baka Usagi for wasting his time. He growled and scowled so much that he scared a small child that was waiting at the bus stop with its idiotic mother. Kanda tapped his foot bad temperedly on the concrete. A couple women passing by looked at him appreciatively. He ignored them.

Across the street hidden from view stood a white haired high school student, waiting for the light to change. He was fidgeting with his backpack and was rolling back and forth on his converse clad feet. A shoelace was loose. He bent down to tie it.

As he raised his head, the cars moved and he had a clear view to the other side of the street. His clear honest silver eyes met with a pair of bad tempered blue eyes. He gasped in shock.

'"Beautiful…" '

And so began the second chance.

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_So how was it??????? Was it good or bad??? I'm making a sequel because it's summer break and im bored ._

_Review plz? *does puppy dog eyes*_

_EDIT: I edited a few a bits that i felt were a bit rough, look over it again.  
_


	2. Author's Note

Thank you to all those who reviewed!!!

I have put up the sequel to this.

The name of the sequel is Second Chance, yes I kno wonderfully original

-Ribbonseal


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